The Asymmetric Asshole
By Citronella on Saturday, July 26 2008, 14:46 - Permalink
Let's talk about my co-author. For reasons that will become obvious if you read Julianne Dalcanton's post entitled Symmetry Breaking, and because I think the fellow really needs a name here, I'll call him Dr. Asymmetric. He graduated from my lab in June last year, leaving behind him a swarm of half-finished projects that he had, rather poorly, passed on to various of the remaining students, but is still around, completing the MD-PhD program he is enrolled in. I am one of those who gathered the failing crumbs of poorly written code, ambiguous descriptions on the corner of a white board, and incomplete reports he left behind, and currently writing with him a paper on one of these projects.
On one hand, I really appreciate the guy. He is a smart, clever, passionate scientist. He always have new ideas to offer, and is always enthusiastic about them. He has a lot of publications for someone who just graduated, and is as impressive in his extra-academic activities. He is a real pusher and working with him brings me lots of satisfaction on the "let's do science and have fun" side of things.
Oh the other hand, he is a poor communicator. The kind of person who will never produce code that other people can understand without pulling their hair. The kind of person who literally replies a series of question by two words. The kind of person who never corrects his typos in an e-mail. The kind of person, as I have already discussed here, who will lightheartedly butcher entire paragraphs of text in the draft of a scientific publication and not give a damn about it ‒ that's what co-authors are there for, he seems to think.
Does that make him an asshole?
It makes him a person with whom it is really hard to work. It makes him a person who can make you feel like the lowest kind of assistant, to whom correcting misspells, writing documentation and running experiments without exactly knowing where you are going are assigned. However, with years passing by, you learn how to work with him. You learn how to phrase your questions to have the answer you need, you learn that you will have to be the perfectionist one, you learn that you will be the one getting your hands dirty. You also learn that you want to avoid future collaborations (friendly discussions at occasional meetings should be fruitful exchanges of ideas, without the induced pain of actually working with him). But, honestly, you deal with him.
No, what makes him an asshole, and which I had absolutely not seen coming, is the phone conversation that took place yesterday afternoon, around 2:30pm:
DR. ASSYMETRIC
Hi Citronella, so I've just met with Graduate Advisor over the first part of the paper...
CITRONELLA
Uh, 'kay
DR. ASYMMETRIC
... and he likes it, but we were thinking there's a little thing that might do the paper some good.
CITRONELLA
Go ahead.
DR. ASYMMETRIC
So, we were thinking we should [insert here idea that I suggested back in February and that both Graduate Advisor and Dr. Asymmetric rejected at the time], do you think you can do it?
CITRONELLA
Yeah, sure, it's going to take me some time, but of course I think it's a good idea, I talked about it a while back and none of you thought it was interesting so I never got around to do it.
DR. ASYMMETRIC
I'm really sorry to keep asking you to run the experiments, but it would be great if you could do it, thanks so much!
Then the conversation went on in a different direction.
So, a few wrong things happened there. The first one is that Dr. Asymmetric met with Graduate Advisor without me. Without me knowing there was going to be a meeting, without me agreeing that the paper was in a state to be presented to Graduate Advisor, without me being invited to the meeting.
Which, of course, will lead Graduate Advisor to think that the paper is mostly Dr. Asymmetric's baby and that I am just giving a hand when, (a) Dr Asymmetric had the idea of the novel method and put together some code to implement it and (b) I cleaned the code, implemented some variations, found the data on which to test it, processed the data on which to test it, ran batteries and batteries of tests, developed several optimizations, implemented for comparison two other methods (among which one is in press as a book chapter), processed the results in tables and graphs of various complexities, and computed whatever statistics Dr. Asymmetric suggested.
The second thing that was wrong is that, instead of going berserk and clearly (or violently) indicating how much I would appreciate to be informed of subsequent meetings on the subject so as to be able to take part in them, I just coldly said "Uh, 'kay". In a way that made my office mate turned towards me and raise an inquisitive eyebrow, sure, but I could certainly have been more... affirmative.
The third thing that was wrong is that, instead of making me a real part of the decision process, Dr. Asymmetric simply kept me out of it and presented me with its results. In the meantime, who knows what Graduate Advisor thinks, but I am not even sure it was brought up in their conversation that I would be the one to run the tests.
It drove me mad. I spent hours and hours on end sweating on this paper at a time that is mostly inconvenient for me, because Holy Dr. Asymmetric was available at last and that if I wasn't available, who knows when I would have been presented again with an opportunity to be done with this project. And then I was gently swept to the side?
I have learned since then that this is frequent behavior from Dr. Asymmetric's part. And that it will most likely happen again.
So, strategies?
Plan A: Schedule a meeting with Graduate Advisor right now, to "talk about the first part of the paper"
Plan B: Wait until I meet with Graduate Advisor at the regular lab meeting that should resume next Wednesday (Graduate Advisor having been out of town for a month), and then bore everybody with a detailed account of all what I have done for this paper in the past five weeks, so as to make sure that they are all aware of how much work I am putting into it. "I am sure you know all about that already, having met with Dr. Asymmetric, but as I was not included in this discussion, how could I know for sure you have all the information you need?"
Plan C: Email Dr. Asymmetric and carbon copy Graduate Advisor, saying something along the lines of "Hey man, I'd really appreciate if I could be kept in the look as far as meetings discussing my paper are concerned. PS: I have your data." (Alternatively, the PS could read "Your puppies are really adorable, I'm sure you wouldn't want anything to happen to them", but what harm could I really do to cute puppies?)
Plan D: Schedule a meeting with both Dr. Asymmetric and Graduate Advisor, for as soon as possible. "Wouldn't it be great to discuss this project with the person who know the most about the data, the experiments and their results?"
Plan E: Gather with the two labmates involved in similar situations with Dr. Asymmetric, and set up alibis for each other. (Too bad my mum told me violence was never the best solution.)
Plan F: All of the above
In the meanwhile, I'll go back to running the good old tests no one wanted to use six months ago...
Comments
The problem with assholes is that it's a personality trait - they'll always make you feel inferior by demanding excessive labor and they'll always take any bit of credit they can. Were it me - though I'll be supportive of whatever you decide and am happy to contribute bail money! - I'd meet with your advisor alone. Mention the delays and the problems and the time you've spent. I'd bore him with the details - what you've done, what you've thought, how the project is clearly yours and you deserve first authorship and to be included in any and all meetings. But that's me - I get territorial when people screw with me. And you don't work for this asshole - I'd be sure he knew that and that regardless of his brilliance or time commitments or whatever his deal is, you're not his helper. (I get annoyed about crap like this - I probably let too many things go in grad school and am now rabid when anyone tries to take advantage.) But I hope that whatever you decide feels right.
Katie > Thanks for your support. It's nice to have the confirmation that it is normal to get (very) upset at the situation.
I am glad it happened on Friday, which gives me time over the week-end to gather information (the fact that he has done that with other students, repeatedly, is very important as it shows me that it is not an isolated incident, and that it must be addressed as soon as possible) and wait before contacting Graduate Advisor. First thing Monday morning, I can go through my lab books and archived emails and list all what I have done and assess the time I have spent on the project; I am clearly determined to prove to my advisor that I am not a vague secondary author, and that I should be present to every meeting regarding this paper. Complaining is difficult for me, but clearly I cannot let Dr. Asymmetric do this kind of shit.
Which, of course, will lead Graduate Advisor to think that the paper is mostly Dr. Asymmetric's baby and that I am just giving a hand when, (a) Dr Asymmetric had the idea of the novel method and put together some code to implement it and (b) I cleaned the code, implemented some variations, found the data on which to test it, processed the data on which to test it, ran batteries and batteries of tests, developed several optimizations, implemented for comparison two other methods (among which one is in press as a book chapter), processed the results in tables and graphs of various complexities, and computed whatever statistics Dr. Asymmetric suggested.
I don't disagree with this dude being an asshole based on what you describe. However, based on the fact that Dr. Asshole came up with the idea for the novel method and a first implementation, regardless of how much "clean up" and "processing" you did, it is his baby.
PP > I am not contesting first authorship on the paper. However I think that my role is more than the occasional help with a detail, and that my advisor should know that I did, actually, invest more time (if less inventivity) than Dr. Asymmetric in it, and that I haven't been just sitting there watching the paint dry.